Family, Living intentionally, Marriage, Parenting, Relationships
If you’re like most people, you’re probably good at noticing when your spouse or children do something wrong or something that you don’t like. Let’s face it, we all have things that just drive us crazy! Sometimes we become so focused on the negative that we don’t stop to see the positive. We don’t even acknowledge what they “do right”.
You’ve probably been on the receiving end of that before. Nothing you do is good enough. Only the negative is acknowledged. Criticism. It makes you think, “Why bother…it won’t matter anyway.” Have you even been there? Ugh, not a good experience. (more…)
Marriage, Relationships
We have 7 children. Last weekend I jokingly put on Facebook that we were on a “date” because we had no children with us–even if we were only on our way to buy toilet paper because our littlest guy had put all of ours into the toilet. But hey, “no kids = date” when you have 7 of them! At least, that’s how it can feel sometimes.
Can you relate? Do you feel that your fun dates have become non-existent and you’re resorting to calling anything a date—even a trip for toilet paper?
Is your marriage fun?
- Do you have enough time together? Alone. Just the two of you, uninterrupted by children or work or day-to-day pressures.
- Do you have time to celebrate your marriage and enjoy the blessing of your spouse?
- Are you just existing and trying to get through each day together?
- Have you lost the spark and the fun and wonder if it’s even possible to get it back?
Do you remember the last time you intentionally went out on a date and enjoyed time together? (more…)
Being a Godly Woman, Marriage, Relationships
Wouldn’t we all love to wear the title: Wife of the Year.
Be honest with yourself. If your husband were to describe you, would he use those words?
Does your husband know that he is your number one priority? Your number one human relationship? —–over your children, parents, best friend, or even a brother or sister. Ouch. Reflecting on that can really step on your toes. (more…)
Marriage, Relationships
I had the wonderful privilege and blessing of spending 4 days last week in Nashville for the American Association of Christian Counseling (AACC) World Conference. One of the workshops I attended was led by Dr. Greg Smalley and it focused on enhancing your relationships through the everyday interactions you already have. I’d like to share those principles, so this material is based on his teaching.
We’re all so busy and it’s hard to find the time or energy to really give our marriages our best. Without trying to squeeze more into an already full day, we can make the most of the time that we already do have together. (more…)
Marriage, Relationships
Do you have an ideal marriage?
What do you base your answer on?
What does the ideal marriage look like to you?
- What do you envision?
- How would you describe it?
- What roles would each spouse fill?
- What needs would be met?
- How much time would be spent together? How would that time be spent?
- What would communication look like?
- What about intimacy?
One of the problems we often fall into when we think “ideal anything” is that we go by other people’s standards, which sometimes aren’t practical or don’t fit our situation or the way we’re wired. That can lead to feelings of failure, not measuring up, or even frustration with your spouse.
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Marriage, Relationships
Do you have a recipe for your marriage? A great recipe will result in overall pleasure in your relationship and your needs being met.
Do you know which ingredients it takes for your marriage to be healthy, strong, and pleasurable?
Each marriage is unique and will have its own recipe, although most will have some form and amount of these included:
- Communication about daily activities
- Conversations that resolve conflict and build the relationship
- Sharing new information and emerging desires
- Affection and intimacy
- Recreation and fun
- Prayer
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Marriage, Relationships
One of my favorite authors is Elizabeth George. I think I have most of her books, if not all of them. I’m reading through 3 of them again right now and working through the growth and study guides that go with them.
One of the books I’m reading is A Wife After God’s Own Heart. As I’ve been working my way through it, I’ve tried to really stop and reflect on what kind of wife I am and what kind of wife God would like me to be for John. I’m sure there’s plenty of room for improvement. As we celebrated our 22nd anniversary this past weekend, I’ve been thinking a lot about our relationship and what I could do to grow as a wife in order to impact our marriage and family in a positive way. (more…)
Adversity, Marriage, Relationships
My husband, John, and I celebrated our 22nd wedding anniversary this weekend. Where did that time go? Last time I checked, I was in my 20’s and…. well, now I guess I’m not. I spent a lot of time this week thinking about some of the things we have experienced together over the years. I thought I’d share a few things here.
John and I met during college at breakfast one day with the BSU (Baptist Student Union). I was late (he should have known then….just saying…) and he couldn’t quit staring. We only went on one official date, but we were good friends and spent a lot of time together. (I’m not exactly sure what we were thinking when we got married 2 years later, but somehow our parents agreed and it turned out great.)
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Family, Life Purpose, Marriage, Parenting
What difference would it make if you knew your life purpose and lived intentionally, seeing each day as a gift, celebrating life, maximizing your relationships, and dedicating 100% of your life to God, bringing Him glory in all you do?
I read a great book this week. It’s 20,000 Days and Counting, by Robert D. Smith. It’s a simple book, and can be read in about an hour. When he wrote the book, at age 54, he had been alive about 20,000 days.
The idea is that life is short, yet each day is a gift you are given from God. Maximize each day and don’t waste a single second. What could you do with 20,000 days? How different would our lives be and how much would we accomplish if we lived each day on purpose? (more…)
Family, Marriage, Parenting, Relationships
Do you know your primary love language? Do you know the language of your spouse? Maybe you’re engaged. Have you learned your fiance’s primary love language?
What about the love language of your children?
Love languages are fun and can make a big impact on the dynamics in your relationships. I recommend the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman if you want an in-depth explanation and further information. It includes an assessment in the back for you to fill out and discover your language. There are also versions of the book for children and teens.
The idea is that everyone has an emotional need for love and we have an emotional tank that needs to be filled with love. We feel loved when others speak to us using our primary love language. When we feel loved, our tank is full. We’re affected by whether our love tank is full or not. Emptiness can lead to critical attitudes, withdrawal, harsh words, misbehavior, and negativity….to name a few.
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If you’re like most people, you’re probably good at noticing when your spouse or children do something wrong or something that you don’t like. Let’s face it, we all have things that just drive us crazy! Sometimes we become so focused on the negative that we don’t stop to see the positive. We don’t even acknowledge what they “do right”.
